The Most Important Part of IFS

The unburdening process (or where we reprocess past experiences and trauma in IFS) is transformational. But if we stop there, our influence over our system will dwindle. Just because we have unburdened parts doesn’t mean they disappear or stop having feelings! They also don’t stop needing your support when working through difficult situations. Derek Scott said “if we don’t know how to work with our parts, we get stuck in them”. We need to continue the work of getting to know our parts in order to continue being able to lead the parts in our system,

Said another way, when we neglect relationships with people, those relationships usually become disconnected. When we neglect the relationships with our parts, they will disconnect from us and start living their own lives all over again. The better we know our parts, the more capable Self is to meet their needs and work with parts as a team. This is the ultimate emotion regulation skill!! Connect with, love, and keep a relationship with your parts.